Easy Reads Like Subtle Art of Not Giving a F
It'southward that time of year again, where nosotros're all socially pressured into spending an inordinate amount of fourth dimension effectually people that nosotros've kinda-sorta known our whole lives, just who besides bulldoze us insane and make us feel like there's no point to it all.
It's in that warm holiday spirit, then, that I present to yous, vi books that volition hopefully make those close to you (or perchance you, yourself) slightly-less-horrible people this holiday season. These are good books to help increase empathy and gain a better understanding of all the beautiful flaws in yourself and in the humans around y'all. They're also ways to avoid talking to your family.
So Merry Holidays and Happy Who Gives a Fuck. Let's read.
Tiny Cute Things
by Cheryl Strayed
What it's virtually: Few people know that earlier the world famous novels and the big budget film featuring Reese Witherspoon clomping around in hiking boots, Strayed wrote an anonymous advice column for a small literary website. The questions sent to her were pretty standard fare for the genre: break ups, coping with death or trauma, calumniating family members, struggling with addiction, and so on.
What's non generic at all are Strayed's responses. Offset of all, they're long. Often stretching out for 20-xxx pages apiece. 2nd, they're intense, personal and raw. Strayed's lived a fucked upward life and somehow come out the other end. Rather than wax philosophic about theories and empty-headed shit like affirmations, she does something much better in Tiny Beautiful Things: she drags the reader back through the mud she lived through, reminding them that they are not alone and that yes, they will exist all correct.
Equally a person who exists in this genre and ofttimes writes articles or emails responding (whether directly or indirectly) to people's personal problems, this may be the simply book that I have found that I await up to every bit a role model. Responses and writing similar Strayed's hither are something I aspire to and hope to achieve one mean solar day in my own work.
Notable quotes: "I'll never know, and neither will you, of the life y'all don't choose. Nosotros'll only know that whatever that sister life was, it was important and cute and not ours. It was the ghost send that didn't carry us. There'southward zippo to practice but salute it from the shore."
"You cannot convince people to beloved you. This is an absolute rule. No one will ever give you dearest because yous want him or her to give it. Real love moves freely in both directions. Don't waste your time on anything else."
"Nobody will protect you from your suffering. You can't cry information technology away or eat it away or starve it away or walk it away or punch it away or even therapy it away. It'southward just there, and you have to survive information technology. Yous have to endure it. Yous have to alive through it and honey it and move on and be better for information technology and run as far as you tin can in the direction of your best and happiest dreams across the bridge that was built past your ain desire to heal."
How it volition make you a less horrible person: There are ii means to assist people in this globe: 1) give them specific, tangible advice on what they should do to gear up their problems, and 2) normalize their suffering to only remind them that they are not as lonely or every bit hopeless as they call back they are.
Strayed'southward piece of work here is calorie-free on the first and heavy on the 2nd. But she's an skillful at the 2d. In fact, her book is probably the all-time example I've ever seen of the, "Hey, sometimes life is shit; let'southward talk about it" multifariousness.
Ofttimes what nosotros need the most is not more "tools" and "tips" to become through our hardest hours. What nosotros demand is someone who simply understands our pain, and is able to conspicuously and beautifully articulate that it will i day be OK again.
A great souvenir thought for…: That awkward cousin who cries when you cleave the turkey; your friend who has said for a decade plus she was going to write a screenplay but is still waiting tables; family unit members who have made a sport out of feeling sorry for themselves; abuse survivors.
Between the World and Me
by Ta-Nehisi Coates
What it's near: At that place'south a lot of hype and hate around this volume. It'southward about racism in the United States, and so obviously, it's been politicized to hell and back. It besides won the National Book Honour, garnered Coates the MacArthur Fellowship Grant (too referred to as "The Genius Grant"), Nobel Prize laureates in literature have chosen it "required reading for humanity" and the New York Times, Washington Post, and Chicago Tribune all near crapped their pants screaming that it was the best book of 2015 — so yous tin imagine how information technology'south been a lightning rod for a lot of nitpicky criticism.
Showtime, let'southward get the most obvious and important facts out of the style: Ta-Nehisi Coates is black. He also has a regular cavalcade at The Atlantic and has become (in)famous non simply for his powerful prose, only for some of his more radical and anarchistic ideas almost US history and race.
Between the World and Me is relatively curt at 163 pages. Information technology'south an open letter from Coates to his 13-year-quondam son. Afterward seeing the news that George Zimmerman had been acquitted for shooting and killing Trayvon Martin, an unarmed black teenage boy in broad daylight, Coates watched his son — who was at present old plenty to empathize such racial injustices — retreat to his room and lock the door and keep to weep uncontrollably in solitude. Coates, standing outside of his son'south door, wanted to say something to brand his son feel better, but he realized there was zippo he could say considering in that location was no reason to feel improve about it. Instead, he sat down and wrote this book.
The book doubles as both a memoir of Coates' experiences with racism, blackness civilization, and growing up in the ghettos of Baltimore, likewise as a political commentary on the history of race in the United States. Coates seamlessly weaves betwixt the ideas of black intellectuals such as James Baldwin, Malcolm 10, and Martin Luther Rex Jr., and much of the violence, frustration and prejudice Coates experienced in his own life. It is political. Just it's also personal. Information technology is a love letter of the alphabet, not merely to Coates' son, only to black people and even the U.s., in the truest sense of the genre.
It'due south also gorgeously written. Coates is so gifted that it makes the injustices he'south lived through that much more difficult to read. It'due south at times an emotional scree of a concerned black father terrified for the safety of his son and, at other times, a highly reasoned political argument. It's both a radical and anarchistic criticism of the injustice bred into American guild equally well as a work of art. It's like nothing else I've ever read.
Notable quotes: "Just race is the child of racism, not the father. And the process of naming 'the people' has never been a matter of genealogy and physiognomy so much as one of hierarchy. Departure in hue and pilus is old. Merely the belief in the preeminence of hue and hair, the notion that these factors tin can correctly organize a society and that they signify deeper attributes, which are indelible—this is the new idea at the heart of these new people who take been brought up hopelessly, tragically, deceitfully, to believe that they are white."
"Hate gives identity. The nigger, the fag, the bitch illuminate the border, illuminate what we ostensibly are non, illuminate the Dream of existence white, of being a Human being. Nosotros proper name the hated strangers and are thus confirmed in the tribe."
"Simply all our phrasing—race relations, racial chasm, racial justice, racial profiling, white privilege, even white supremacy—serves to obscure that racism is a visceral experience, that it dislodges brains, blocks airways, rips musculus, extracts organs, cracks bones, breaks teeth. You lot must never expect abroad from this. You must always recall that the sociology, the history, the economics, the graphs, the charts, the regressions all land, with smashing violence, upon the body."
How it will make you a less horrible person: As an upper-middle course white boy from the suburbs who pretty much always thought he had the whole racism matter figured out from an early on age (cheat sheet: don't exist mean to black or brown people; don't use "northward-word;" rinse and echo), this book changed my mind most a lot of things. It also showed how horribly naïve I was to how a large percentage of people in my country live.
Coates' writing is all at once cute, political, personal, historical and urgent. But unlike his columns at The Atlantic, hither he has no articulate thesis. There's non some overarching political argument hither. Rather, it'southward a stark and unflinching reflection on both his life as a black human and the state of race-relations in the United states of america. Although less directed, this ends up feeling far more powerful. It was what books were made for: an opportunity to inhabit, albeit briefly, the mind and experiences of another person, and to exercise our muscle to aggrandize our empathy.
A great gift idea for…: That racist uncle who doesn't realize that he's racist; anyone who speaks about 'trigger warnings' and 'rubber spaces' unironically; Trump voters.
Fooled Past Randomness
by Nassim Taleb
What it'southward about: Nassim Taleb was a successful bonds trader in Chicago. He made a killing in the 80s, just did so because he developed an anarchistic philosophy effectually finance and trading: to bet on the most unexpected occurrence possible, that the entire market is random and anyone who believed they had whatever sort of skill or predictive power was merely deluding themselves and would eventually go bankrupt.
After the dot-com bubble outburst and ix/11 happened, Taleb wrote his odd philosophy down and Fooled by Randomness is what emerged. And although the book primarily uses financial markets in its examples, the concepts and principles have broad applications in life as well. Taleb shows united states that much of what nosotros remember we know — almost skill virtually success, almost important figures in history, even about mundane things such as dietary habits, athletic performance or business success — is to largely be the production of chance.
Notable quotes: "Reality is far more fell than Russian roulette. First, it delivers the fatal bullet rather infrequently, similar a revolver that would have hundreds, even thousands of chambers instead of half-dozen. After a few dozen tries, 1 forgets about the beingness of a bullet, nether a numbing false sense of security. Second, unlike a well-defined precise game like Russian roulette, where the risks are visible to anyone capable of multiplying and dividing past half dozen, ane does not notice the barrel of reality. One is capable of unwittingly playing Russian roulette – and calling it by some culling "low take a chance" game."
"Mild success can be explainable by skills and labor. Wild success is attributable to variance."
"Probability is non a mere computation of odds on the dice or more than complicated variants; information technology is the acceptance of the lack of certainty in our knowledge and the evolution of methods for dealing with our ignorance."
How it will make y'all a less horrible person: It will (hopefully) humble y'all. It will expose yous to how much you lot don't know. It will show y'all that many of the greatest qualities you presume about yourself are likely deluded or, at best, the effect of a streak of luck. This is a good thing, every bit you lot'll be less upwardly your own ass and more comfy with failure as a consequence.
A neat souvenir idea for…: Anyone who has won coin in the stock market lately; anyone who has lost coin in the stock market place lately; anyone who takes themselves and their coin a little chip as well seriously.
Ego is the Enemy
past Ryan Vacation
What it'southward about: Ryan is like my brother from another philosophical mother. Despite the fact that we pretty much have completely reverse personalities, writing styles, and lifestyles, intellectually, he and I tend to e'er end upwards at the same place.
Ego is the Enemy is Holiday's second philosopho-self-help title. And although The Obstacle is the Way probably got more media hype, I think this volume is the amend one. Information technology's more than focused and more personable. Information technology takes an age-old message, a message you see bandied virtually in a million self-help books about the ego, just gives it a serious philosophical treatment and grounds it with countless historical examples.
The result is a book about ego that isn't so much dramatic as it is practical. Our egos are here to stay. They are an inherent consequence of our wiring. The question isn't so much quashing the ego, as much as wrestling with it, taming it and ultimately managing it.
Notable quotes: "Impressing people is utterly different from beingness truly impressive."
"Almost universally, the kind of performance we give on social media is positive. It's more 'Let me tell you how well things are going. Look how cracking I am.' It's rarely the truth: 'I'm scared. I'yard struggling. I don't know.'"
"People learn from their failures. Seldom exercise they learn anything from success."
How it will make you a less horrible person: It'due south a classically-driven, philosophically-minded argument confronting self-absorption and entitlement. It'due south the manual for mastering your own listen and coming to terms with your ego without indulging in all the pseudo-spiritual bullshit of other books. It's a no-nonsense book almost your human relationship with yourself, and how you should probably absurd information technology and keep your pants on a bit more than often.
(Well, actually, y'all tin can keep the pants off if yous'd like… you know, if you're into that sort of thing.)
A slap-up gift thought for…: That cute guy/girl in your classical literature form who quotes Aristotle at keg parties and is strangely sexy in a nerd-chic kind of way; your friend who merely torpedoed his fourth business idea in a row and doesn't retrieve it's his fault; people who want practical life advice only hate the "woo woo" stuff of typical cocky-assist; anyone who is really into men wearing togas.
Thinking, Fast and Ho-hum
by Daniel Kahneman
What information technology's about: Daniel Kahneman is a Nobel prize-winning psychologist and possibly one of the most influential academics and thinkers in the past fifty years. Kahneman, along with his colleague Amos Tversky, are the godfathers of behavioral economics — a branch of psychology/economics that shows how humans often make irrational economic decisions, and in many cases, fifty-fifty brand decisions confronting their own interest, despite the information bachelor.
Thinking, Fast or Irksome is a layman's summary of this entire body of piece of work. In the book, Kahneman argues that our brains have two forms of thinking. The first is "fast thinking," or what many of us consider intuition or a "gut feeling." Fast thinking allows humans to arrive at conclusions extremely rapidly despite complicated circumstances or lots of information. Fast thinking is unconscious. It'southward quick. It feels obvious and automated.
Slow thinking, on the other hand, is that shit you had to do in school. Slow, methodical, rational analysis. Test conclusions, counterbalance bear witness, make judgments.
The problem is that our fast thinking oft hijacks our slow thinking. In fact, our fast thinking often kicks in without united states of america even realizing it, and so our tiresome thinking operates from shaky ground to brainstorm with. Not only does the book spell out, meticulously, the flaws in your own brain, but it also gives you insight into how to detect those flaws, and act against them.
Notable quotes: "A reliable way to make people believe in falsehoods is frequent repetition because familiarity is not hands distinguished from truth. Authoritarian institutions and marketers have always known this fact."
"The conviction that individuals have in their behavior depends mostly on the quality of the story they can tell nigh what they encounter, even if they run into little."
"We tin be blind to the obvious, merely we are also blind to our blindness."
How information technology will make you a less horrible person: You'll realize the dozens of means your brain sucks. You'll be a lilliputian bit less sure of yourself, a little bit more enlightened of your own biases and mental flubs, a piddling more skeptical of all the bullshit being shoveled your way.
That and you lot'll hopefully be improve at managing your coin, second-guessing many of your assumptions, and perhaps not being such a pious dick all the time.
A corking gift idea for…: That obnoxious family member, who subsequently too much eggnog, thinks he knows exactly what the government is up to, and tin't exist talked out of it nor be ignored; that Aunt who unironically talks near her "intuition" and how wise it is.
The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck
by Mark Manson
What information technology'south about: I know this is adulterous and y'all're never supposed to include your ain book on these lists, simply guess what? Yeah, yeah… that's right, I don't requite a fuck.
What'southward this book about? Well, basically some douchebag with a blog wrote a book and now he won't shut upward about it.
Oh, and he likes to quote himself a lot too…
Notable quotes: "The want for more positive experience is itself a negative experience. And, paradoxically, the acceptance of one's negative experience is itself a positive experience."
"Life is substantially an countless series of problems. The solution to one trouble is just the creation of another."
"Nosotros suffer for the elementary reason that suffering is biologically useful. It is nature'due south preferred agent for inspiring change. We accept evolved to always live with a sure degree of dissatisfaction and insecurity, because it's the mildly dissatisfied and insecure brute that's going to do the most piece of work to innovate and survive."
How it will make yous a less horrible person: You volition probably all the same exist a horrible person afterwards. Simply hey, I tried.
A great gift idea for…: Anybody; seriously, purchase a copy for your entire family unit, the domestic dog, your parakeet, the pet hamster in your child's third grade classroom; re-mortgage your business firm and buy 100 copies for the whole neighborhood; send a copy to the moon with a monkey; I'm serious guys; Hey, why are you lot walking away? Wait, no, come dorsum; You forgot your book; Guys? … Guys?
Looking for more than books to read?
Well, I put together a list of over 200 of the best books to read, organized by topic for The Subtle Fine art School members.
The School is a collection of 6 brand-new video courses each with a pretty printable workbook, plus 3 bonus courses, ebooks on my favorite topics, commentaries on all my books, and a "library" of best books to read. Oh, did I mention I too do a alive monthly webinar with members where I'll reply all your questions and talk nigh tacos?
If you're already a site member, you have full access to the School (just log in). If not, what are you lot waiting for? Check it out.
I too have an all-time recommended reading list which non-members tin can access. You're welcome.
Source: https://markmanson.net/6-books
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